INDONESIA: Bandung - One last visit....

Some say the bond between human so strong that once the loved one left, the other tend to follow not long after that.

Mak Cik Su and Hazim (eid 2015)

My sister and I traveled to Bandung, Indonesia last April when we got news that our 'aunt Su' or Mak Cik Su, the one  who took care of Hazim and all of us for 27years became ill. I flew in all the way from Lagos, Nigeria and took a low cost carrier, Air Asia to Bandung. The closest city we could get to reach her. We hired a driver there and the journey from Bandung to Pamanukan took almost 4 hours by car. 

The journey through rain took us to a very hilly region till we arrived in Subang where the scenery changed from tea plantation to paddy fields. The harvesting season just came to an end and they lit up the fields to prepare for the next round of planting; the area was choked with smoke. 

Finally we arrived at our destination. Walked a few metres to a small green house which she called home. Her frail body was on the bed and a standing fan was blowing air slowly. The room was smoky from the open burning and no window shutter ... I wept bitterly. She was just skin and bones. 

2017! Ramblings of a 40 y.o man...

Another year passed and onwards into 2017!

Been away too long that to come up with a simple posting for the blog for 2017 proved to be very difficult. Too difficult that for this particular posting, I've been writing, deleting, rewriting and deleting many times that I told myself that on this nite, Wednesday 15th, I should have an article posted on the blog....a welcoming article of sorts. 

Big 4-0 this year. Another milestone, certainly a lifetime achievement. A few of my friends didn't make it. I remembered on my mum's 40th birthday, there was none. That year, my maternal grandmother passed on at the age of 63. Dad's mom left in 1977,  a few months before I was born, and she was 63 too. Mum was slightly better, at 64. From 40 to 63 is not long, 23 years to be exact. Not that I'm troubled by it, on the contrary, but am thankful that the sessions I had with my dad on being better muslim finally made perfect sense. Nothing new about his advice...more of a reminder actually, but now it really sank in. 

It has nothing to do with the age old adage "life begins at 40" but it was motivated by the passing of my mom. I laid her to rest on that fateful day and somehow I would have flashbacks. Back to that moment. I held her head and tilted it towards Kaabah in Mecca, the direction of our solah and apologised if it hurts her. I took the last glimpse of her before we covered her with earth. I had dreams of her and I swear to Allah that sometimes I hear her voice, but I keep it to myself. There were instances when suddenly I said "mama"... and recited the longest surah (Quranic verses) I can remember for her. 

Deep down, I will always be her little boy. Dad's advice really sank in and hit home because I really want to see her again. 

Welcome 2017...there you have it.

Mum with Ben and Fay

NIGERIA: Happy 66th Birthday Abah (Dad)!!!

Me, 1y.o with dad and his 504 Pug

I remembered the question he asked me as if it was only yesterday...

(translated from Bahasa Malaysia)
"I give you 3 ringgit (our currency), and a box of milk is 30sen (cents)..how much can you buy?", my answer was wrong and what happened next was priceless. Oh yes it was...because after 38 years of my life I can still remember it. 

My dad went...ahem...berserk! He hit the steering wheel a few times with his palm and his left hand searching for my leg and give me a pinch. Dad and his 'pop-quiz'...I always dread whenever he does that. 

That was just one of many memories of my childhood about my dad. A strict and very discipline man, which didn't rub off on me...sigh. He is a very nice man... never heard him curse anyone in his life. Never...

The youngest boy from the second family (that's how we describe my dad's side of the family). A total of 48 siblings from 4 mothers! Huge family. Atok or grandpa was a famous religious teacher from Muar, Johore, Malaysia. 

Dad's siblings and spouse

Dad and his sibling, and spouse.
Pak Ngah (Tan Sri Aziz Yassin) 3rd from left is the eldest in family. Mak Ani (Puan Sri Hjh Norainee) and Pak Itam (TSMY, can Google: TSMY Malaysia), 4th and 5th from left. 

The Family Tree published in 2011. A few already passed.
Note Dad and TSMY (second family, Hjh Khadijah),
Shahid and Muhyiddin

I doubt there's no part on me that had never received any of his strict treatment while growing up. Hand, belt, belt buckle, rolled up sarong, towel, cane, bulu ayam or feather duster, feet etc etc...oh ya, a match (but it was one time only)..hahahahah..the list I bet is longer. 

But animosity towards him, none. It's because while 'administering' us using any of the things he can reach...I mean literally anything he can reach, he will tell you what was wrong. It's either a note in red ink by the teacher telling the homework was pass its due or any of my siblings got hurt because of my antics...hahahaha.  

It was many years later, after I become a father myself that he said this to me. 

"Be firm, but fair"

OMG... which part of his discipline was fair? But it's natural for human to remember tragedy instead of celebrating the good ones. I did remembered when he bought me those plastic toy soldiers, spend his weekend sawing wood to make an M-16 rifle and it was painted black to effect, built a small cage for the rabbits, the inflatable pool, ice creams, the ATARI, Sega, computer, laptops, showed us what happens when you light up a mixture of water and right amount of carbide in a close container....and BOOOOMMMMM! played marbles, spinning top and much more... Ahhhhh..it does make sense. "Just like playing kite"...he said that too..one time.

With Ben and Fay, I try my best to just do that. The discipline (tug) and fun time (release), just like kite flying. A balance of both...One comes after the other and both in good measure. Not too much of either...yes, firm but fair.

Anyway, on this auspicious occasion..would like to wish him, again..Happy 66th Birthday! (September 22nd, 1949) May Allah be with you at every step in life, His blessing in this world and hereafter.

Before I end this post...let me regale you with another piece of memory which goes wayyyyyy back to kindergarten years. 

My parents used to ask me.... If I love them. 

"Of course I do!" 

So they would asked me again,

"how much?" (a lot and little, made  sense during those tender years..a lot is good, little is bad)...and I would reply.

"A LOT! Like leaves in the world"..I replied. 

Yes, dad @ abah...Love you lots!!! 

-From all of us in Lagos, Nigeria

Ahehhhh....

Us....family

MALAYSIA: Hazim....(Jim Boy)

I have a brother with CP (cerebral palsy, since 3 m.o)...and how things are in the house, he is the MAN! 

So when he "decided" to have a short RnR at the hospital...we pack everything to be with him. 

Muhammad Hazim or Ajim Boy

28y.o this year, May 24th actually....he is truly a testament to us that even how slim it was in the beginning for him..he is still with us (28 years and counting) and for that we are thankful to Allah.