INDONESIA: Bandung - One last visit....

Some say the bond between human so strong that once the loved one left, the other tend to follow not long after that.

Mak Cik Su and Hazim (eid 2015)

My sister and I traveled to Bandung, Indonesia last April when we got news that our 'aunt Su' or Mak Cik Su, the one  who took care of Hazim and all of us for 27years became ill. I flew in all the way from Lagos, Nigeria and took a low cost carrier, Air Asia to Bandung. The closest city we could get to reach her. We hired a driver there and the journey from Bandung to Pamanukan took almost 4 hours by car. 

The journey through rain took us to a very hilly region till we arrived in Subang where the scenery changed from tea plantation to paddy fields. The harvesting season just came to an end and they lit up the fields to prepare for the next round of planting; the area was choked with smoke. 

Finally we arrived at our destination. Walked a few metres to a small green house which she called home. Her frail body was on the bed and a standing fan was blowing air slowly. The room was smoky from the open burning and no window shutter ... I wept bitterly. She was just skin and bones. 

Nigeria: Lagos: Entahkan Kasih Entahkan Tidak[Lanchang Kuning].flv

My late mother loves to sing. Mostly Malay oldies song and some of these songs were downright sad, to me. So sad that I used to cry when she sang the song. Oh my, she would be very happy just to accomplish that... I was a boy at that time, a pre-schooler. 

Fast forward to 1994 it wasn't a good year for me, I was 17. My world came down crumbling. I remembered my mother sang this particular song (Entahkan Kasih, Entahkan Tidak - a heartbroken song) one night whilst holding my youngest brother in her arms. It was night and the electric went out in our area. My youngest brother, Hazim is special. Born with CP and cortical blindness, all attention on him and so mom would hug him to sleep. Listening to her singing and holding my brother to sleep, brought me to tears. But I would never let my siblings see me. I was the man of the house.....

Last weekend, I was having my breakfast and Sunday is always Malay Oldies song day for me in our cosy apartment. I just selected these compilation songs on YouTube when this song came on air. The flood gates opened. I was in tears. A piece of memory which I thought I've forgotten suddenly it felt it had happened yesterday. 

I quickly ran for the laptop and put the next song on....too late! This one, apart from the other song which is Seri Mersing still make me teary eyed. Memory of my mom flooded. Forever will be his boy...

2017! Ramblings of a 40 y.o man...

Another year passed and onwards into 2017!

Been away too long that to come up with a simple posting for the blog for 2017 proved to be very difficult. Too difficult that for this particular posting, I've been writing, deleting, rewriting and deleting many times that I told myself that on this nite, Wednesday 15th, I should have an article posted on the blog....a welcoming article of sorts. 

Big 4-0 this year. Another milestone, certainly a lifetime achievement. A few of my friends didn't make it. I remembered on my mum's 40th birthday, there was none. That year, my maternal grandmother passed on at the age of 63. Dad's mom left in 1977,  a few months before I was born, and she was 63 too. Mum was slightly better, at 64. From 40 to 63 is not long, 23 years to be exact. Not that I'm troubled by it, on the contrary, but am thankful that the sessions I had with my dad on being better muslim finally made perfect sense. Nothing new about his advice...more of a reminder actually, but now it really sank in. 

It has nothing to do with the age old adage "life begins at 40" but it was motivated by the passing of my mom. I laid her to rest on that fateful day and somehow I would have flashbacks. Back to that moment. I held her head and tilted it towards Kaabah in Mecca, the direction of our solah and apologised if it hurts her. I took the last glimpse of her before we covered her with earth. I had dreams of her and I swear to Allah that sometimes I hear her voice, but I keep it to myself. There were instances when suddenly I said "mama"... and recited the longest surah (Quranic verses) I can remember for her. 

Deep down, I will always be her little boy. Dad's advice really sank in and hit home because I really want to see her again. 

Welcome 2017...there you have it.

Mum with Ben and Fay

Mama 2

Mama left on the 12th day of Ramadan, 1437 Hijra or June 18th, 2016 in University Malaya Medical Centre's CCU. She was 64.

She was interred at a nearby cemetery, about a kilometer from home. We decided the design of the grave would be something she would appreciate and had it done before I went back to Lagos.

We, the children would like to convey our most sincere thanks to family members, neighbors and friends for all the assistance and assurance during the trying time. Also to well wishers in FB, WA and SMS, near and far. We really appreciate it all. Thank you.

Mama

Life is never constant...always on the move. Some good ones, some bad. You complained the bad ones, and pray for more good ones to come. 

But as a Muslim, you submit. Through thick and thin...because of a simple fact. We are just the servant of Allah, a slave. After all, in prayer; five times a day we recite 

Say (O Muhammad p.b.u.h) "verily my Salat (prayer), my sacrifice, my living and my dying are for Allah, Lord of the 'Alamin (Universe, mankind, everything that exist)

Surah Al-An'aam, verse 162

Now, we are rushing home. Back to Malaysia...Mama is not well. I will be away in the mean time, insyaAllah (Allah willing) will write something soon. Right now, family comes first.

I wish to thank you all for the du'a and prayer and well wishers for my mother, I appreciate it all. Thank you or terima kasih.

Ben, Mama and Fay during Eid (Salah) 2010

MALAYSIA: Kuala Lumpur: Mama

When my mum gave me the message urging me to come home sounding distressed...

I just simply went under the radar.

It has been 6 weeks since my mum was admitted in UMMC (University Malaya Medical Centre). I just simply stop writing. By the way there, were other things to do too. In between there were other programs, day and night...but last week on her insistence...oh how she insist, that I start posting again. So, squeezing every ounce of creative juice to come up with a suitable topic to talk about.

Mum is diabetic. It has been under control, until recently. Through the siblings’ WhatsApp group, we discussed about her condition. 

MALAYSIA: Hazim....(Jim Boy)

I have a brother with CP (cerebral palsy, since 3 m.o)...and how things are in the house, he is the MAN! 

So when he "decided" to have a short RnR at the hospital...we pack everything to be with him. 

Muhammad Hazim or Ajim Boy

28y.o this year, May 24th actually....he is truly a testament to us that even how slim it was in the beginning for him..he is still with us (28 years and counting) and for that we are thankful to Allah.